Category: Let's talk
yesterday i talk to someone who use to be my friend for quite a relaxing time. before this, i've never thought of i could forgive him on what he did to me on the pass and what the hurt i had from him on the pass. it is hard to forgive someone who hurt you beyond what you can take it. the hatred i had towards him is stronger than anyone that i had before, in my pass years of life. but however, i've choose to break the hatred wall and of my heart, and talk to him. i can't said that i've fully forgive him, but somehow i think i do. maybe not totally but i'm glad i took the step to talk to him. between hatred and forgiveness, i've choose to forgive. but yet, of course, all the scars and woons need time to fully recover on it. it is not easy to forgive someone that you hate, but it is easier to forgive than to hate that particular person forever. every experience in our life is another stage of maturity and learning. human learn from mistake, but do we dare to give chance for them? need your opinion on it. between hatred and forgiveness, please share your personal experience about it
SEASON, You’ve done what so many never even will make the attempt to do and that is to as you say, “chosen to break the hatred wall and of my heart, and talk to him,” this one that so has caused you hurt and pain. To simply respond not knowing what all was involved I will not do as far as saying to as I understand take this one back into your life. I think it is that time will give you to better know and come into understanding as far as what to do. I am just so taken with your maturity of as you say CHOOSING to break the hatred wall and of your heart.. that really is tremendous step of power in your life. For when hatred is held in one’s heart then yes, pain is held and as that brutal cold wall of hate and indifference is broken then release is found in your innermost being and Yes, you can get on with the business of getting on with your life. Forgiveness does not mean you are in any way required to take anyone back into your life, rather it is such a freeing up for you personally within your own personal self. GOOD FOR YOU SEASON! *smile* On a personal note, back several years ago there was someone I so admired in my life and then sad to say the road so many bumps and we drifted apart and the hurt and pain so deep I felt…we continued to talk and had a some what working it out situation and we went forth together on the path so oft we had traveled…then that day came…we were no longer in that special place that for three years previous we had been… too many bumps there had been as it were in that road had taken its toil in our lives and some bumps kept on keeping on till we had came upon as it were a day when our path we shared as one, well the path took two directions and each of us our ways going no longer on that same pathway. I harbor not hatred rather CHOOSE to remember the special time and yes sad to say sometimes the memory takes over and pain is remembered but then once again it comes to that word you use, CHOOSING… for that is when I must choose to remember the good and release the rest of it… I know this is no an easy task but SEASON, you are making headway and advancement in your life in these moments that are passing whether it feels like it is or not. Feelings can be so fickle as it were. Just trust within you that choosing to break down wall of hate is a good route to travel and one that many never find. Oh sweet blessings to you dear sister SEASON. Love you and you KNOW how special a person I think of you. *smile* Sissy Connie
thanks for the post. you right connie, as i said before, every stages in my life is the way for me to be more mature and to face problems, and solve it, by not ignoring it. it is hard to break true the wall between hatred and forgiveness, i did take lots of emotion and time on it. it is hurt? yes, especially when all the old memories came back to me where i choose to ignoring it on the pass. but it is just a period of short time. i'm glad i could break true the wall of hatred, it is such a feeling of release, and you will see things more wider & clearer than before after you got release yourself from the pain and the hurt. will we be friend still? i've no idea, on whether how much i can take him as my friend. but however, i think i gane the feeling of fully release and be more open and mature on facing problems by not ignoring it. i should thank him to give me the apotunity of beeing more mature than before. of course, it will be great if we still can be usual friends and share on things. but well, just let it be if thats the way for it.
I have to agree that being able to forgive is a freeing step. My father wasn't a good Dad, and for a long time I hated him deeply. I learned in time that the hatred only hurt me; not him, and so I've learned to accept him for what he is and move on. Do I love him? No, I really don't. I'd call what I feel more indifference to him. I know that's a harsh way to be; as he is my father and all, but that's the way things have to be for me to save my sanity. However, in the last couple of years we have started talking more often and more personally, and in some ways that gives me hope, but he'll never change, and that is one thing I've got to keep in mind. Some people however may change, but he's one that won't. No, I'm not saying don't let him back in your life. Yours is a different situation Sis, and your the only one who can decide. More recently I've been going through a problem that hurt quite a bit when it started. I'd rather not get into it completely as the other person is still on the Zone, but I'll say this. What I went through with my Dad has taught me a lot about forgiveness, and how little control one person should have to hurt you.
agree sis. it doesn't a matter of loving him back or not, or either he's change or not. but the greatest amoung all is the feeling of release of hatred. as i said, i couldn't said that i've fully forgive him on what he did to me, but however, i guess, in the same matter, he did learn and regrets on something as well.
Fair play to you Season for making the effort..I refuse to harbour any animosity towards those who have hurt me or anyone close to me. After all they want me to crumble under the destructive force of hatred,so why should I give the feckers the satisfaction. Live well, succeed and when you are successful, you can laugh in their face because they will still be in the gutter.
yes, forgiveness is the greatest etitude of all. but as for me, i'll take it as how worthy the particular person to get my forgiveness and how sincere he or she really want to make the efford of changes. it is easy to say it or to make promise without doing it.
Snowflake I agree..many people I have met are not worthy of forgiveness..yet I cannot bear bitterness.Our elderly Jewish friend Ellie, is not bitter in spite of spending her childhood, and losing her parents, in Auschwitz. She is just unhappy at the terrible loss of her people,but very glad to be alive. I try to see things as she does.
Sis, this is very special. Not many people do this. That is great. I am glad you could do it.
thanks ines, i did struggle on it for a long time between forgive & hate. i'm glad i can over come it. between friends and enemies, i choose to have a friend. it needs lots of courage to do so though.
It does indeed and that's why I am so proud of you. See I have a lot of people who hurt me. I still can't forgive the worst of them. I am always glad friends of mine can do it. It gives me the wish to try and forgive some of the people who hurt me.